Just A Brief Update

The school year is almost over, and I am scared to death! I really don't want to be a senior... although I am very, very glad to be completely finished with standardized tests! Those things are horrible... I still have to take my SATs in June, but otherwise I'm DONE!

Unfortunately that leads to a whole host of problems to deal with. For example: WHERE ON EARTH AM I GOING TO GO TO COLLEGE????????? This issue has been plaguing me for quite some time now, and I can't get it to shut up! I really don't want to go to college... but I know I have no choice. If I want to do anything or be anyone in life, I have to college. My dream is to get married and have kids. Raise a family, ya know? But Peter doesn't want that, darn him. He wants to go to the army, go to college, all that jazz. So to college I go. Because I have no idea if he and I will still be together, if he will want to settle down... ever.... So I must do stuffs for myself. FML.

So, I'm scared to death about this whole thing. I have my list: Susquehanna (which I really, really liked when I was there Monday), CUA (Catholic University of America... yeah...), NYU, Ithaca, Temple, and Carnegie-Mellon. I know I want to double major in French and Music Theatre, if I can... or major/minor in those two or education of some sort. I've determined that Peter's four years in the army will give me four years of grad work, living in France, or going to NYC and trying my darnedest to make it on Broadway. But I'm scared.

I'm scared to death. I don't really want to leave anymore. I'm happy here. I have my friends, my (somewhat messed up) family, my boyfriend, my church family (both at the Nazarene church and St. George)... but a lot of my friends and Peter will be going to college, leaving me here alone. But if I went to Susquehanna, I could be here to help with plays and musicals, and I could still go St. George. I would be here when Peter comes home, and it wouldn't be hard to be with him... a lot. So Susquehanna seems like a good choice. But CUA has the Catholic influence that I am swiftly growing to love, and it would be very, very, VERY close to Peter. Meetings wouldn't be hard... we could see each other every day, or every other day. Which would be amazing....

I'm tired of thinking about this stuff. Somebody needs to tell me what I'm supposed to do with my life, so I can complain a little bit and then go do it because I have no choice. I hate making decisions. Grr....

:'(