French Christmas Carols

I miss my family.... a lot. But, Christmas is getting close, and Sunday is my birthday, so I'm going to be happy, happy, happy!

Vive le vent, vive le vent
Vive le vent d'hiver
Boule de neige et petites enfants
Bonne annee gran-mere!
Vive le vent, vive le vent
Vive le vent d'hiver
Boule de neige et petites enfants
Bonne annee gran-mere!

Freely translated:
Long live the wind, long live the wind
Long live the wind of winter.
Snowballs and little kids,
Happy New Year Gramma!!!

Hehehehe

~~~~~~Love from me

PLAY IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT AM I GONNA DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Opening night was last night!!!! It was perfect, it couldn't have been better as far as I'm concerned!!! Dad got pictures of me, and of the show, and of me and Zack dancing, and oh, I'm in heaven!!! He also got videos!!! Of all of the dancing!!!!

I'm so happy. I didn't go to sleep until 1:30 this morning because I was writing in my diary about it.

I could've danced all night...............................

AM I THE ONLY INNOCENT GIRL OUT THERE???

"Bed, bed
I couldn't go to bed.
My head's too light to try to set it down.
Sleep, sleep
I couldn't sleep tonight
Now for all the jewels in the crown!

I could've danced all night
I could've danced all night
And still have begged for more
I could have spread my wings
And done a thousand things
I've never done before.
I'll never know what made it so exciting
Why all at once my heart took flight!
I only know when he
Began to dance with me
I could've danced
Danced, danced
ALL NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

J'adore Banjo. J'adore tres bien Banjo!!!!! He dances with me! He talks to me!!! He doesn't treat me like an alien from another planet!!!! But..... I'm pretty sure he's taken. I probably should try not to like him so much, but he's so nice to me!!!! He's a good actor, he's in choir, he's the French Club President, and he is HOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I highly doubt that I have a chance at anything more than friendship. Sigh.

I made such a fool out of myself today. Am I the only chaste girl out there, the only girl who still blushes if a guy takes his shirt off? Nothing else, just his shirt. The guys at play change their shirts on the stage, and everybody else just is like, "Whatever. It's just their chest!" while I'm blushing and stuttering and finding a piece of the ground to be fasinated with. Am I absolutely the only one left??

I don't know. It seems so strange! I must be the only girl who actually cares about that kind of thing (note that Zach doesn't do that!). I feel awkward because I feel so childish among the other girls. I don't want to be "experienced!" I want to be innocent, but I feel so stupid!

I guess it'll be okay. I'll think about Zach some more..... SIGH!!!!!!

"Hands touch

Eyes meet

Sudden silence

Sudden heat

Hearts leap in a giddy whirl

He could be that boy

But I'm not that girl

Don't dream too far

Don't lose sight of

Who you are

Don't remember that rush of joy

He could be that boy

But I'm not that girl

Every so often we long to steel

To the land of what might have been

But that doesn't soften the ache we feel

When reality sets back in

Blithe smile

Lithe limb

She who's winsome

She wins him

Gold hair with a gentle curl

That's the girl he chose

And heaven knows

I'm not that girl

Don't wish

Don't start

Wishing only wounds the heart

I wasn't born for the rose and pearl

There's a girl I know

He loves her so

I'm not that girl."

Copyright: Stephan Schwartz

61 years..................

Today there was a Veterans' Day assembly at school. The one guy was married for 61 years today, and another is celebrating his 59th anniversary tomorrow!

I didn't think it was possible for people to stay together that long. After all, why would a promise made to both your spouse and God matter at all? Why should it be a big deal if your sex life isn't what it used to be and that annoys you to the point of divorce? What if you are fifty? That doesn't mean you aren't a beautiful person, and that you need to prove that you are still "good enough" by sleeping it off with someone besides your spouse!

Grr.........

So, yeah, but on a happy note, play practice tonight! Play next week..... I get to dance with two seniors................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ecstaticly Happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got to dance! On a stage! With a guy!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

I AM SOOOOOO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLAY IS WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING! I LOVE PLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

um, hehe...... ;) :0

Oh la la.....

I really need to talk to someone...... Someone who I can trust, isn't in my family, and might actually understand and sympathize with what I'm going through...... I need to talk to Katie.


On the bright side...... J'adore le ange de musique, le fantome de l'Opera, Gerard Butler, et practique! Oh la la!

Mon dieu, there is no bright side. I'm so scared, and I don't know where to turn. My friends at school seem so "polite" to me anymore, like I did something to offend them and they don't want to tell me. I don't feel like I can tell my best friend, because it's a family issue, and I'm so afraid she'll say I'm being selfish or over-reacting. And I don't want to tell my family, because I don't want anything leaking out to this person, and my family is falling apart anyway......

My babies need me to be strong. They need me to show them that everything is okay. They need someone they can trust......

How am I supposed to go to NYC to college? How can I leave my little ones? I want to be here for them! I don't want to feel abandoned, I don't want to leave them! They need me.......

Sigh, another sleepless night tonight. So many problems, so many nightmares, so few dreams..... All the dreams I've ever dreampt have become nightmares. Is there no relief?

I held a tiny baby today. She was so beautiful. How I wish I had a chance!!!