So, I was talking to my cousin about love, and its been on my mind with Valentine's Day being tomorrow, and my question is, Does love really exist? Does it exist only if you know a person to the deepest depths of their souls? Or is love something that you naturally have and extend towards certain people? Or is love simply a fantasy of society, something that you just "do" because it's what society expects? OR, is love truly the thing that we all think it is, that unreasonable, irrational, gut-wrenching, heart-tearing beast that we all have hidden somewhere and will one day come out, whether we want it to or not?
To quote me in our debate:
"i think that i would love the real u just as much or more than i do the u that i think i kno, bcuz love is something that i dont think is readily given or readily taken away. i think that when u love someone, even if u love someone completely different from the real person, u will always love them, as u begin to discover more of what they r truly like, the love that u had to begin with will just grow until it becomes what it is supposed to be for who that person is supposed to be "
I don't know. Maybe I'm crazy. Hehe, I know I'm crazy. But that is just talking about love towards family members and the like. What does that mean for romantic love? Does it stand a chance?
I hate Valentine's Day. It brings such depressing thoughts to mind. But there are some comforts: my data match at school had two of the four guys that I like on it. Yay!
A poem for Valentine's Day (my first in French!):
L'amour
Je t'adore
Mon amour
Mon cheri....
Baisse-moi, s'il vous plait
Oh la la...
L'amour toujours,
Mon cheri
L'amour toujours moi
Vive l'amour
C'est si bon
Oh la la...
C'est la vie!
Translation:
Love
I love you
My love
My darling...
Kiss me, please
Oh, my...
Always love,
My darling
Always love me.
Long live love
It's so good
Oh, my....
That's life!
I'll just keep swimming down, down, down. There's no point in trying to reach dry ground, I'm drowned.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Does love truly exist.... the question of the day
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
POST
I can't remember what I last posted... a poem, I expect. But, for those dear friends of mine who actually look at this site, I will post again.
I am so happy! I got sick and tired of not talking to Zack, of seeing him in the halls and ignoring him. As piggish as quitting musical was on his part, it was equally pigheaded on my part to (attempt) to ignore him because of it. So, I said hi to him at his locker the other day, a conversation ensued, and not a day goes by that I don't at least say hi and get a smile in return. I'm in my glory!
It's strange.... a year or two I never would have had the guts to do anything like this. I have always been outspoken, but never would I have done anything as far as guys are concerned like I do now. I've become a bit of a flirt, and guys don't cringe at the sight or thought of me... they actually look at me and talk to me, and I feel so amazing and special!
I guess the divorce changed a lot of people. Everything and everyone seems different, more wild but at the same time, so much more cautious. I don't even know if the little ones remember Aunt Glenda and Uncle Wally... huh, he's not even my uncle anymore. I miss them so much! It's as though Glenda and Wally and Nicholynn have all fallen off of the face of the Earth! I don't know where Wally lives, other than "in Tennessee." I don't know his address, his phone number... same thing with Aunt Glenda. I know Nicholynn's address, but no matter how much I try/tried to make contact with her, she doesn't respond. I know she's been hurt by the divorce, we all have, but why does she have to shut out every connection to her old life?
Thank God for Megan. She emails, we im, she even checks my blog. I am confident that she still loves me despite everything, and cares about my life. She doesn't want to just disappear into thin air like the rest. Even if I hadn't been sure of that before, I definately am now. She's making plans to come home... rather, back to PA.... in time to see my musical! She cares enough and knows how much this means to me....
Wow. It is amazing how much you think you are over something but it still haunts you, like a lie you told your parents that you know they know about. Is it any wonder that all I write about is boys? If I write about anything else, I fear I will slip back into a deep, dark depression, this time with no way of escape.
Megan, this is for you:
When people leave
A heart is broken
When they go away
A soul is wrenched
From someone helpless
When they disappear
That heart falls to the floor
And the owner of the soul
Is too afraid, too ashamed
To stop and pick it up.
They see a house,
They hear a voice
They sing a song
Even a comment
Made by a science teacher
Can bring back memories.
If there is a family
A family of four
And are all disbanded
By one thing or another
You feel like all hope is lost
What's the point?
Why go on?
But there's a reason:
One of them
Still loves you
One of them
Still cares
And one of them
No matter how far away
They get
The others get
One will always be there
There to see you through
There to love you
There to prove
There is hope yet.
Pick your heart
Off the ground
Dust it off
Save your love
For the one who truly loves you.
I am so happy! I got sick and tired of not talking to Zack, of seeing him in the halls and ignoring him. As piggish as quitting musical was on his part, it was equally pigheaded on my part to (attempt) to ignore him because of it. So, I said hi to him at his locker the other day, a conversation ensued, and not a day goes by that I don't at least say hi and get a smile in return. I'm in my glory!
It's strange.... a year or two I never would have had the guts to do anything like this. I have always been outspoken, but never would I have done anything as far as guys are concerned like I do now. I've become a bit of a flirt, and guys don't cringe at the sight or thought of me... they actually look at me and talk to me, and I feel so amazing and special!
I guess the divorce changed a lot of people. Everything and everyone seems different, more wild but at the same time, so much more cautious. I don't even know if the little ones remember Aunt Glenda and Uncle Wally... huh, he's not even my uncle anymore. I miss them so much! It's as though Glenda and Wally and Nicholynn have all fallen off of the face of the Earth! I don't know where Wally lives, other than "in Tennessee." I don't know his address, his phone number... same thing with Aunt Glenda. I know Nicholynn's address, but no matter how much I try/tried to make contact with her, she doesn't respond. I know she's been hurt by the divorce, we all have, but why does she have to shut out every connection to her old life?
Thank God for Megan. She emails, we im, she even checks my blog. I am confident that she still loves me despite everything, and cares about my life. She doesn't want to just disappear into thin air like the rest. Even if I hadn't been sure of that before, I definately am now. She's making plans to come home... rather, back to PA.... in time to see my musical! She cares enough and knows how much this means to me....
Wow. It is amazing how much you think you are over something but it still haunts you, like a lie you told your parents that you know they know about. Is it any wonder that all I write about is boys? If I write about anything else, I fear I will slip back into a deep, dark depression, this time with no way of escape.
Megan, this is for you:
When people leave
A heart is broken
When they go away
A soul is wrenched
From someone helpless
When they disappear
That heart falls to the floor
And the owner of the soul
Is too afraid, too ashamed
To stop and pick it up.
They see a house,
They hear a voice
They sing a song
Even a comment
Made by a science teacher
Can bring back memories.
If there is a family
A family of four
And are all disbanded
By one thing or another
You feel like all hope is lost
What's the point?
Why go on?
But there's a reason:
One of them
Still loves you
One of them
Still cares
And one of them
No matter how far away
They get
The others get
One will always be there
There to see you through
There to love you
There to prove
There is hope yet.
Pick your heart
Off the ground
Dust it off
Save your love
For the one who truly loves you.
Friday, February 02, 2007
Collage of Music.... To the Man (men) of my dreams!
Me and the Wonderful Amazing Ben (and Emily Lepley.... also amazing. Don't forget Eric!)
http://s128.photobucket.com/albums/p198/InluvwithEB/?action=view¤t=DSCF0942.flv
And more poetry:
Holding hands at midnight
'Neath a starry sky
Strolling with the one boy
Sighing sigh after sigh
'Cuz my wildest dreamings
Could not forsee
Lying beside you
With you wanting me
And just for this moment
Do you love me?
I feel you my darling
I was half afraid I'd waken
Satisfied enough to dream
Happily I was mistaken....
I have found me a wonderful guy!
And until I die
I'll die day after day
Though not a day goes by
Not a single day
But you're somewhere
A part of my life
And it looks like you'll stay
Because no one is alone
Truly, no one is alone.
While the rain in Spain
Stays mainly in the plain
I could dance all night
I could dance
So you'd grow
Accustomed to my face
Then, oh matchmaker, matchmaker
Bring me no match
Find me no find
Catch me no catch
For I've got a matchless match!
A song
Played on a solo saxophone
Is telling me to hold you tight
And dance like it's the last night
Of the world.
I am that girl
When hands touch
And eyes meet
There's a sudden silence
Sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
I know I'm your girl!
Together forever
We're tying a knot
That no one can sever
You think I'm a
Beautiful girl
And all five hundred
Twenty-thousand
Six hundred moments so dear
We'll measure in love
The seasons of love
You can kiss me too fiercely
Hold me too tight
And help me make
The music of the night.
A little fun for you: Each different color is from a different musical than the color before. Try to guess what the different songs or musicals are and post your guesses as comments or email them to me! Let's see how sharp you are.....
LOL;)
http://s128.photobucket.com/albums/p198/InluvwithEB/?action=view¤t=DSCF0942.flv
And more poetry:
Holding hands at midnight
'Neath a starry sky
Strolling with the one boy
Sighing sigh after sigh
'Cuz my wildest dreamings
Could not forsee
Lying beside you
With you wanting me
And just for this moment
Do you love me?
I feel you my darling
I was half afraid I'd waken
Satisfied enough to dream
Happily I was mistaken....
I have found me a wonderful guy!
And until I die
I'll die day after day
Though not a day goes by
Not a single day
But you're somewhere
A part of my life
And it looks like you'll stay
Because no one is alone
Truly, no one is alone.
While the rain in Spain
Stays mainly in the plain
I could dance all night
I could dance
So you'd grow
Accustomed to my face
Then, oh matchmaker, matchmaker
Bring me no match
Find me no find
Catch me no catch
For I've got a matchless match!
A song
Played on a solo saxophone
Is telling me to hold you tight
And dance like it's the last night
Of the world.
I am that girl
When hands touch
And eyes meet
There's a sudden silence
Sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
I know I'm your girl!
Together forever
We're tying a knot
That no one can sever
You think I'm a
Beautiful girl
And all five hundred
Twenty-thousand
Six hundred moments so dear
We'll measure in love
The seasons of love
You can kiss me too fiercely
Hold me too tight
And help me make
The music of the night.
A little fun for you: Each different color is from a different musical than the color before. Try to guess what the different songs or musicals are and post your guesses as comments or email them to me! Let's see how sharp you are.....
LOL;)
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Movies from "The Man Who Came To Dinner"
Me and Zack (and Dan): http://s128.photobucket.com/albums/p198/InluvwithEB/?action=view¤t=DSCF0945-1.flv
Me and Aaron in the 1st half of "What Am I To Do?" (and Ben, Emily, and Dan): http://s128.photobucket.com/albums/p198/InluvwithEB/?action=view¤t=DSCF0943.flv
Me and Aaron in the 2nd half of "What Am I To Do?":
http://s128.photobucket.com/albums/p198/InluvwithEB/?action=view¤t=DSCF0944.flv
AREN'T WE JUST AWESOME????? ;)
Me and Aaron in the 1st half of "What Am I To Do?" (and Ben, Emily, and Dan): http://s128.photobucket.com/albums/p198/InluvwithEB/?action=view¤t=DSCF0943.flv
Me and Aaron in the 2nd half of "What Am I To Do?":
http://s128.photobucket.com/albums/p198/InluvwithEB/?action=view¤t=DSCF0944.flv
AREN'T WE JUST AWESOME????? ;)
There is a red dress
In the store window
It has my name
Written all over it
Black and red
Sexy but chic
Rosy and innocent
Yet in every way not.
I can see myself
On the dance floor
Whirling, twirling
The lacy underskirt billows
As I spin in time to the music
I am alone
For once I do not claim music
As my one companion.
Then I see someone
Stepping from the shadows
He is tall, dark, handsome
A dream of a man.
He comes closer
Close enough to embrace me
He holds me close
I've ascended to heaven!
But then he disappears
I feel lost
Until I realize
That someone is still holding onto me.
His hands are soft
Gentle on my waist
He is closer to my height
He whispers endearments
In my earI feel my heart pound
I hope he doesn't hear it
Then, in an instant, he too is gone
And another is in his place.
Again much taller than me
His prickly gotee
Brushes against my hair
I lay my head on his chest
Trying to soothe
The nerves that I know
He is battling
I encourage him to laugh
To talk
To make my body shake
With laughter
Then againI am left alone
This time no one comes
I wander from the dance floor
Waiting off to the side
Is a boy
A joyful, wonderful boy.
Someone I know well.
He sees that I am upset
He asks me what's wrong
He touches my arm
And our eyes meet
And suddenly I know
The other three were handsome
Sexy, wonderfulI saw no flaws...
But I find my heart
Skipping a beat
As we talk
As we laugh
As I cry
As we gaze at each other
I know this is finally him
The one I was meant for
He knows me
He accepts me
And he's almost my height!
I know why I've been waiting
I feel a tap on my shoulder
I snap out of my dream
I turn around
And there he is
He is smiling at me
Reminding me
I look at the dress
The sexy red and black dress
Then I turn away
I slip my arm through his
I've already forgotten the dress
I like thinking about ornamental cats much more.
In the store window
It has my name
Written all over it
Black and red
Sexy but chic
Rosy and innocent
Yet in every way not.
I can see myself
On the dance floor
Whirling, twirling
The lacy underskirt billows
As I spin in time to the music
I am alone
For once I do not claim music
As my one companion.
Then I see someone
Stepping from the shadows
He is tall, dark, handsome
A dream of a man.
He comes closer
Close enough to embrace me
He holds me close
I've ascended to heaven!
But then he disappears
I feel lost
Until I realize
That someone is still holding onto me.
His hands are soft
Gentle on my waist
He is closer to my height
He whispers endearments
In my earI feel my heart pound
I hope he doesn't hear it
Then, in an instant, he too is gone
And another is in his place.
Again much taller than me
His prickly gotee
Brushes against my hair
I lay my head on his chest
Trying to soothe
The nerves that I know
He is battling
I encourage him to laugh
To talk
To make my body shake
With laughter
Then againI am left alone
This time no one comes
I wander from the dance floor
Waiting off to the side
Is a boy
A joyful, wonderful boy.
Someone I know well.
He sees that I am upset
He asks me what's wrong
He touches my arm
And our eyes meet
And suddenly I know
The other three were handsome
Sexy, wonderfulI saw no flaws...
But I find my heart
Skipping a beat
As we talk
As we laugh
As I cry
As we gaze at each other
I know this is finally him
The one I was meant for
He knows me
He accepts me
And he's almost my height!
I know why I've been waiting
I feel a tap on my shoulder
I snap out of my dream
I turn around
And there he is
He is smiling at me
Reminding me
I look at the dress
The sexy red and black dress
Then I turn away
I slip my arm through his
I've already forgotten the dress
I like thinking about ornamental cats much more.
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