I just know I'm bipolar.... I can't explain this any other way!

Well, here we go again.... Today was what you might call an "emotional roller coaster." I was late to school this morning, which sucked, but Mme Gillot didn't notice, so I didn't have to get a pass (and thus, get detention). At least, if she noticed, she didn't say anything. I got a 90 on my American Cultures quiz, which actually isn't that bad for me, and I understand the junk that we're doing in Geo. Unfortunately, we had to revise our Communications papers (I got a friekin' 80!!), and that sucked. Of course, food power was as dull as ever. I don't know how I stay awake every day in that stupid class.

Lunch was, well, interesting. It started out fine, with me studying for my bio quiz, but it ended with me trying to make my friends understand that my "beloved" aunt might be moving back here. I failed my bio test.

Then I had a vocal lab. I was supposed to have a driver's ed test, but he moved it to tomorrow. So I got to go be the only soprano in a vocal lab with Jenn, Becky, Porche, and Rosie. It was actually kinda fun. Then, of course, choir. Mrs. Wagner was being her normal obnoxious self. She wore a skirt today with a slit up to calamazoo, and you should've heard all of the bass's stupid comments. It was sooo funny!

Study Period I went up to her room to "practice." I sang one song, called Misty, and started bawling like a baby. It's a good thing I holed myself up in the piano closet, because I cried all period. I cried over Aunt Glenda, Aunt Caterina, over everything that I just found out. I cried because I miss Uncle Wally and Aunt Glenda so much.... because he's not even my uncle anymore.... because I can remember his laugh, and his cough, and his rattling pretzal bag. I can remember her "sweet" demeanor, how much she always used to cater to me and make me feel special. I remember going shopping with Nicholynn and Megan... I hear their voices in my dreams, and wake up sobbing because I'm afraid I'll never hear them again. I remember playing school in their basement with Megan, or making T-shirts with them (which I still have, by the way)..... I remember Honey Bear, and Hobie the beagle, and the smell of their house, and the layout, and the furniture.... dang it, I remember the friekin' colors of each individual room!! And I miss it all so much. I just wish that life would go back to the way it was. And then I cried because I was (am) angry at Aunt Caterina for not telling us that Glenda stopped to visit. No, I found out from my 8 and 9 year old cousins, who shouldn't have to be going through any of this. I found out that my aunt may be moving back to Mifflinburg, and anyone I talk to says that's a good thing; now we can reconciled and life can go back to the way it was. What don't they get about this? It will never be the same! And I'm not sure I can even talk to her, much less pretend that nothing is different.

After I spent the whole 1/2 hour crying, I went to my locker and did play practice. That, at least, went well. I did the entire act without my book, and, although it could've been more dramatic, it was good. Play was over at 5:30.

Then I got my concert blacks on (YAY!!!!!) and did my hair and make-up to go sing with Mrs. Wagner. She needed people to sing with her, and she asked me, Jenn, and Becky, just the three of us, to go with her. So we spent some time getting ready, and when we got there, we had a great time singing. There were a few people we knew there (like Mrs. Gillot!), but since we were just background music, it wasn't a very big deal. Still, it was a lot of fun, and then Mrs. Wagner drove me home and now I'm sitting here, still in my concert attire, wondering if I'm truly happy or sad, angry or scared or worried or ecstatic.

I swear, I MUST be bipolar!