Babies Having Babies

The next person who tells me that I can't have children or get married now or that I don't want to get married and have babies now is going to hear a long, winded diatribe. I have had enough.

I don't give a damn if you got married young and it worked out. I don't care if you waited and it worked out. If you were married young and it didn't work, I'm sorry, but you're not me. If you waited and it still didn't work out, again, I'm sorry. But I have news for you: I'm not freaking you. I have my own life to live, and my own mistakes to make; believe me, there will be plenty of them!

Marriage and parenting are two major things that everyone thinks they know about and guess what? No one is perfect! Keep your nose in your own marriage and children... maybe fewer people would get divorced if they did less meddling and more focusing on their own families. Besides, why does anyone care whether I get married young or old, whether I have babies now or later? I'm sorry, I don't want to wait until I'm forty to start trying, only to find out that the expiration date on my eggs was years ago.

Yes, I'm well aware that many women have children at forty and older. This is not a scientific essay, it is a rant. If young marriage and parenting isn't for you, great! You do you! If marriage and parenting isn't for you at all, great! Again, you do you! But let me do me!

There is so much feminist talk in this world. Everyone wants equality, everyone lobbies for identical rights and whatnot. Well, fine. But I have more news for you. Women are not men. There are things that women were designed to do (like having babies). Why is it that equality and rights are great when it comes to things like jobs, voting, etc. (all of which I am grateful for) but when it comes to wanting to get married and have kids, any woman who wants that over job security is looked down upon?? That's insane! Other women should not put down a woman who wants to get married and have children. That's just plain wrong. Why are we destroying each other's dreams? I'm not going to judge you too much for wanting a career instead of children. I may not be able to understand it, but whatever... if that's you, then great. But could you please stop telling me what you think is right for me? You are not the author of my life, and in most cases, you don't even know me well enough to know whether I'd be a good mother or not.

That said, to my utter heartbreak, there is no man in my life to marry me and be a father to these hypothetical children, and at 21, there is no way I could or would adopt little ones. But that doesn't make the desire any less intense. I dare you to imagine having your career stripped away from you, to have people constantly tell you that you don't want that or can't want that, and tell me it doesn't wear on you and grate on you.

All I want in life is to be a wife and mother. That does not make me less of a woman than the business exec.

And the fact that I even had to write that last sentence is beyond ridiculous.