Sooo...

So, that resolve to post every day? Totally forgot about it until now... not that there's much to say, lol. I've been watching too much NCIS... if someone wanted to kill me, they could totally go through this page, haha.

But yeah... Sunday is my senior recital and graduation party. I'm stoked, but kinda sorta scared senseless, lol. I've never given a recital and had to perform all by myself before. But yeah.

I'll try to start this up after that... I'm far too exhausted to bother anymore right now though. :P

New Beginnings

Well, it's almost August. Almost time for back-to-school shopping... except for the first time in my life, I'm packing absolutely *everything* and moving away for more than just a weekend. This time I'm moving into a dormitory in Washington D.C. Scary, huh?

I don't remember if I wrote about college or not, lol. I'm going to Catholic University of America in D.C. for musical theatre. Heaven help me. I'm excited to be on my own, to be in one of the greatest cities in the world, and to be able to be with my boy whenever I want to be, without his parents (or mine) holding us back. I'm excited to be able to get my own apartment in two years time, to be on my own.

I'm scared senseless about being completely on my own, being in a city (I've watched a little too much NCIS perhaps), and, well, college in general. I'm going into my major with people who, for the most part, have graduated from special arts schools or programs. What if I'm no good next to them? I'm also very scared about paying for everything, and about dealing with the typical college party scene (which I will do my best to stay away from, but it is still really scary).

But I figured, although I'll certainly be on Facebook quite frequently, now is the perfect time to resume my blogging. I've gotten out of the habit of it, but this way people can easily keep track of me (also a scary thing).

So, at this point, I'm pretty much consumed with making money for school, prepping for my senior recital and graduation party, and spending as much time as possible with my boy before my life changes forever. I'm still dancing a ton, writing a good bit, and babysitting. And trying to find decent student loans. Which is what I'm doing right now. :\

So that's life. Keep checking... I'm gonna try to update daily at least. If I miss a day, well, forgive me... but now that I have my laptop I should have time. :D

Catholic!

So, it's been awhile... again.

Anyway, tonight I became Catholic. I don't remember how much I mentioned in my previous posts about my journey towards Catholicism (I think I tried to save that for my religion blog, lol), but yeah... I feel God has definitely led me to this place. I am at peace... it's a wonderful, wonderful place to be.

I'll write more later... as of now, I've had a long day and am quite sleepy! Happy Easter, everyone... God bless!

Bla bla bla....

It's been forever since I last wrote. It seems like everything and nothing has happened all at once... I'm not quite sure where to start.

Let's see... the biggest things lately... I got accepted to CUA, and I have an audition for the music theatre department there on February 6. I also managed to get a Juilliard audition! I'm going to NYC on January 23 to audition for the drama department at Juilliard. Of course, I'm crazy excited, but I'm really nervous, too. Who ever would've thought I'd be even this close to Juilliard, to my dreams? Me, a tiny little girl from a tiny little town where nothing ever happens and when going to the grocery store frequently results in multiple family and friend reunions.

Peter's proud of me, I think. I'm really not sure what's happening with us... we ended up breaking up and spending a painful two weeks apart, trying to retrieve ourselves and figure out what on earth was going on. And then, the day I got my acceptance letter, we ended up getting back together. Heaven only knows what's going on with us... I want to last forever, but I'm eighteen... he's seventeen... and forever is a long time. I know I'm stubborn enough to make it last, but is he? He says he is not looking for anyone else, but what if someone just kinda comes out of the blue and he falls head-over-heels for her? Where does that leave me?

In a rut, I guess, but not one that's impossible to get out of. I have my schooling ahead of me, and hopefully a career after that. If I manage to graduate from Juilliard's drama department, I could go so many, many places. I could travel to France or England and work overseas. Losing Peter would not be the end of the world or the end of me... just the end of the current life that I love so much. I would live. If we split up, I'd be devastated, but I would rely on God's strength... because, as I've said so many times this month, "God, give me strength, for I have none of my own."

And I know he will. He is great and mighty, and loves me more than Peter, more than my family or other friends ever will. I know this... it's just trusting it where I sometimes fall through.

Spring musical auditions are coming up. Honestly, it doesn't even seem like the fall play has happened yet! But it has, oddly enough. I was Abigail Louise Brewster, a crazy little old lady in Arsenic and Old Lace. My last fall play is over... how sad is that????

But musical will be fun, and I have a ton to do to prep for my college auditions and district choir. My life is crazy! But it is well-worth every wild moment... even the ones that I wish I could banish forever.

July

Ugh. I haven't updated this in quite awhile, I guess I should make a few notes about my life... not that there's much to note.

I've been spending a lot of time on Facebook, a sickening amount of time on Facebook. I am the *proud* owner of a farm in Farm Town, have more Bumper Stickers than would fit on an eighteen-wheeler, and couldn't fit all my Flair in my bedroom, there's so much of it. I spend my time idling the day away....

I have done some work, though. I've worked on my bedroom a little bit (and believe me, it needs it), and worked on my schoolwork. I haven't started my AP Bio stuff yet, but I'm struggling through Brave New World and the crazy amount of French stuff that Madame Gillott has given me to do. I've also been looking at college stuff... which scares me to death. I'm supposed to be working on vacation ideas for the summer, but I'm not even sure where I put the paper with the suggestions on it... I really don't even want to go on vacation. I'm going to be miserable, although it will be better if I just make up my mind to have a good time.

I've done lots of singing, piano playing (I played the whole Moonlight Sonata today, both hands!), and tons of dancing. In fact, tomorrow I'm going to AKA Dance with Miss Alicia after jazz and tap, which should be tons of fun.

I've also spent as much time as possible with Peter. I get to see him when he has off on Tuesday nights for two hours or so, and then I go to Camp K and get to see him and be with him there. For the past couple of weeks, I had Friday evenings with him... but now he doesn't get off until Saturday. So I won't see him until Saturday evenings, and then Sunday mornings for mass. This kills... I know I shouldn't complain, I get to see him so much more than so many girls get to spend time with their boys... but I miss him so much when I'm not with him. Those twenty-four and forty-two hour increments are so painful, knowing he's so close, but so far away! Near, but so untouchable....

But whatever. No moping. I've done enough of that, and I promised myself I wouldn't. I've also done some swimming, some babysitting, and lots of hanging out with Jenn and with the girls. Jenn and Becky and I are supposed to go take pictures sometime Sunday, yay! :-)

On a very random and lighthearted note, if I ever have twin daughters, I'm totally naming them Julie and Carol. Mary Carol and Ella Julie.... :-)

So, yeah, that's my life. I'm thrilled to report that my boyfriend doesn't need to do Basic Training if he gets a ROTC scholarship... according to him, anyways. Which would be good. Because it's gonna be bad enough without him....

I'm sooo sleepy... enough updating for now. My life is a thriller, let me tell you.... ;-)

Summertime

Well, summer has hit again, with its trials and tribulations, joys and good times.  Peter is headed to Camp K on Friday, and I will miss him like mad.  But I have lots of AP work to do (AP Lit and AP Bio, as well as my independent study), dance classes, voice and piano lessons, Christmas presents to work on (lol), and lots of cleaning to be done.  I also applied for a job at CVS.  Who knows if they'll even consider me, but I applied.  :-\

I also have a wedding to get ready for!  I have to work on memorizing the song I'm to sing at Courtney's wedding, and get my dress fixed so it's not so incredibly revealing.  And Peter's coming!  Which is exciting.  A little scary, mind you, since generally attending family functions - particularly holidays or weddings - is a privilege that is reserved for engaged couples.  But it's okay by me!  I love my boy.  <3

So, summer is here again.  It's going to be long, fun, hard, and interesting.  Oh, well!

Senior???

I'm a... senior? No! It's not possible!

Hmm... maybe it is. I don't want to be a senior, I don't think. I have this horrible sense of impending dread towards next school year (and this summer, to be honest), yet I'm a little... excited? Not possible!

My whole future is before me, and I'm scared to death. Next year I'll have to apply to colleges... heck, next year, I'll have to GO to college! 2010! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!

Just A Brief Update

The school year is almost over, and I am scared to death! I really don't want to be a senior... although I am very, very glad to be completely finished with standardized tests! Those things are horrible... I still have to take my SATs in June, but otherwise I'm DONE!

Unfortunately that leads to a whole host of problems to deal with. For example: WHERE ON EARTH AM I GOING TO GO TO COLLEGE????????? This issue has been plaguing me for quite some time now, and I can't get it to shut up! I really don't want to go to college... but I know I have no choice. If I want to do anything or be anyone in life, I have to college. My dream is to get married and have kids. Raise a family, ya know? But Peter doesn't want that, darn him. He wants to go to the army, go to college, all that jazz. So to college I go. Because I have no idea if he and I will still be together, if he will want to settle down... ever.... So I must do stuffs for myself. FML.

So, I'm scared to death about this whole thing. I have my list: Susquehanna (which I really, really liked when I was there Monday), CUA (Catholic University of America... yeah...), NYU, Ithaca, Temple, and Carnegie-Mellon. I know I want to double major in French and Music Theatre, if I can... or major/minor in those two or education of some sort. I've determined that Peter's four years in the army will give me four years of grad work, living in France, or going to NYC and trying my darnedest to make it on Broadway. But I'm scared.

I'm scared to death. I don't really want to leave anymore. I'm happy here. I have my friends, my (somewhat messed up) family, my boyfriend, my church family (both at the Nazarene church and St. George)... but a lot of my friends and Peter will be going to college, leaving me here alone. But if I went to Susquehanna, I could be here to help with plays and musicals, and I could still go St. George. I would be here when Peter comes home, and it wouldn't be hard to be with him... a lot. So Susquehanna seems like a good choice. But CUA has the Catholic influence that I am swiftly growing to love, and it would be very, very, VERY close to Peter. Meetings wouldn't be hard... we could see each other every day, or every other day. Which would be amazing....

I'm tired of thinking about this stuff. Somebody needs to tell me what I'm supposed to do with my life, so I can complain a little bit and then go do it because I have no choice. I hate making decisions. Grr....

:'(

Thoughts

So much has happened, and I can't help feeling that all my thoughts and feelings are insignificant in comparison to the tragedy of this weekend...

Darren Reynolds, a classmate and friend to many people at MAHS, committed suicide on this weekend. I can't believe it... it still seems like a big joke that someone is playing on us... Darren was always nice to me, and I can't believe he's gone....

I'm missing Peter so much right now. It seems so umimportant, like he shouldn't matter at a time like this, but I want him to be here, to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay... But he's in D.C., and I'm missing him like mad...

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say, to think, to feel... what's appropriate in a situation like this? What do you say to his friends, his close friends? I'm not sure what I'm doing or why I'm doing any of it....

Heaven help us all. Rest in peace, Darren....

Dans Ma Vie

Last night was opening night of Bells Are Ringing. It was incredible! The audience was great (we had a really good crowd for a Thursday night), the performance itself was incredible....

Sigh. I love this! It's sooo much fun. When I get on that stage, nothing else matters but what is happening then and there. It doesn't matter who is in the audience... I'm not Jade, I'm Ella. I'm beautiful, I'm special, I'm important... I love performing! This is what I was made to do, I'm so sure! I love it so much, and every time I'm on that stage, I'm on cloud nine and the world is at my feet! Yet I know the show will end, and it will be back to my humdrum life.... Do I have what it takes to make this my reality for forever? Could I really make it on Broadway? Where am I going with my life?

There are so many questions and so few answers. I have at least eight years of waiting for Peter to get out of college and the army... that gives me time to go to college and try desperately for Broadway. Or maybe travel the world... go to France, to England, to all of the beautiful places I've only been able to dream of in my mind! I have so much that I could do, that I would do, if I could just get the chance....

I love the stage, I love performing... I love French, too... and I love my boy. My heart is torn between the three... I want so badly to just be me, and do everything I want to do... and I know full well that I cannot.

I just have to remember what Father Bill said in his sermon last Sunday. Don't live in the past or the future... live in the now, in the present! God gave us right now for a reason... and right now is the best time of my life. I'm performing, singing onstage the way I always want to, doing well in classes, working on SATs, and hanging out with Peter as much as possible... life is good.

<3, "Ella"

In Chem Class....

So, naughty little girl that I am, I am sitting in chem class with a laptop, updating this blog. My lab is done, Mr. Landis! I swear! Lol.

So, yeah. Just a little update... I realized as I was reading this that I never posted about musical! I can't believe I never posted this. I'm the lead! We're doing Bells Are Ringing, and I'm playing the part of Ella Peterson, the lead character!!! I'm sooo excited! I'm playing against Ryan Stush (Jeff Moss), Ben Hollenbach (Sandor Prantz), and Katie Southerton (Sue Summers). My role is definately not a soprano role, it's very mezzo or alto, in fact. But I love it, and it gives me the chance to work on my belting and acting more than my high, screaming singing, haha.

I only wish that my whole family could come see it. I know Mom and Dad and the boys will, and Aunt Caterina and Uncle Dave, and probably Grammy Pat and Aunt Glenda and Dad's parents. But Nicholynn and Megan won't be there (there's absolutely no way they'll come back here from the west coast!), and neither will Uncle Wally. I miss them....

But Peter will be there, too, my darling, darling boy. He's sick right now, and I miss him so much. Why am I so stupid? I can't help loving him, he's so sweet! But I know I will have to live without him, possibly forever. I hate the thought of losing him, but we'll both go away to college, and if our relationship survives that, heaven help me when he goes into the army! That crazy boy doesn't want to just do bootcamp and be done with it, he WANTS to go overseas... and it breaks my heart to think of what could happen to him.

The bell's gonna ring... haha, "Bells are ringing......."

Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien

RULES:
1. Put Your itunes/ipod, windows media player etc on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button, and the title of that song is your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS
4. Put any comments in (brackets) after the song name

Are you male or female? I Want You, I Need You, I Love You ... Elvis

What do people feel when they're around you? The Moments of Happiness ... Cats

Describe your current relationship. Life Is A Bowl of Pits ... Clue the Musical

Where would you like to be now? I'm On A Mission ... the Relations Quartet

How do you feel about love? Can You Find It In Your Heart? ... Footloose

Whats your life like? Baby Girl ... Nicole C. Mullen

What would you wish for if you had only one wish? Gimme Gimme Gimme! ... Mamma Mia

Say something wise. Javert's Suicide ... Les Miserables

If someone says "Is this okay?" You say... Learn to be Lonely ... Phantom of the Opera

How would you describe yourself? All That Jazz ... Chicago

What do you look for in a girl/guy? When A Man Loves A Woman ... Michael Bolton

How do you feel today? Take Me As I Am ... Jekyll and Hyde

What is your life's purpose? Just For This Moment ... Wicked

What is your motto? Big Shot ... Billy Joel

What do your friends think of you? I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight (HAHAHAHA)

What do you think of your parents? With One Look ... Sunset Boulevard

What do you think about very often? Pie Jesu ... Requiem

What is 2 + 2? Sylvia's Mother

What do you think of your best friend? Sometimes When We Touch

What do you think of the person you like? I Don't Know How To Love Him ... Jesus Christ Superstar

What is your life story? Friends For Life ... Beijing Masterpiece

What do you want to be when you grow up? Livin' On A Prayer ... Bon Jovi

What do you think of when you see the person you like? Overture ... Gypsy

What will you dance to at your wedding? Don't Cry For Me, Argentina ... Evita

What will they play at your funeral? The Heart of Rock 'n' Roll

What is your hobby/interest? Hymne a l'Amour ... Piaf

What is your biggest fear? Merry Christmas, Darling ... the Carpenters (fear of being alone for Christmas?)

What is your biggest secret? By the Sea ... Sweeney Todd

What do you think of your friends? When I Call on Jesus ... Nicole C. Mullen

What will you post this as? Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien ... Elaine Paige

My Life

Haven't written in awhile, should probably update you on the goings-on of my life.

Not that there's much going on, haha. It's back to school on Monday (joy unspeakable), and musical auditions this week. I hope and pray I make it!

I've spent a lot of time with Jenn and Peter this vacation. We took pictures on Thursday (Jenn took pictures of me and Peter), and it was tons of fun. He and I have been going out for about two months now (yay!), and I find myself more crazy for him every day. He's such a sweet guy, and I don't know what I ever did without him around....

Christmas is over for another year. Every year it seems it gets more and more rushed, and seems to mean less and less to so many people. Christmas is almost just another day of the year to so many people, and I hate that! Christmas is so special....

So, yeah. I'll probably post some of Jenn's incredible pictures on this blog just in case anyone actually looks at this thing, haha.

<3 for now,
Jade

In The Christmas Mood

So, as you can tell by the new background, I am very much in the Christmas mood. As I type this, I am surrounded by greenery, silvery glitter, and lots of old world Santas... Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree is blaring in the background - oh, wait - it just changed to Jingle Bell Rock. I love Christmas.

I just got back from decorating the school lobby with Peter, Mrs. Gillott, and three other Leo Club girls... hehe, I got to stand on the ladder and hang snowflakes from the ceiling, and decorate the Christmas tree, and hang lights... it was so much fun! I'm ready for hot chocolate, the nativity scene to come out, and Christkindl! I love Christmas!

Outside, the world is bleak,

There's not a flake of snow on the ground,

But the spirit's the thing we all love,

And you can see it all around.

Christmas carols are everywhere,

And it doesn't matter if you stay on pitch,

Because it's Christmas,

And everyone can sing without a hitch.

I can smell apple pie,

Christmas cookies in the oven,

Snowmen and trees and angels,

Baking by the dozen.

"Merry Christmas, Darling"

Is always in my heart

And I can't wait for the mistletoe

To be hung far above - from it, I'll not part.

In the air,

There's a feeling of joy,

A feeling of peace

For each girl and each boy.

And for those of us who know,

We are grateful for the thing

That, in this season,

Makes us sing.

We know Christ was born

To give us hope of a new day,

When together we will be

Forever and always.

We remember that He,

The Babe and the King,

Is our reason...

The only reason that we sing.

RIP

This post is to commemorate the life of Reverend Ronald D. Moss, an incredible speaker, leader, pastor, grandfather, and a wonderful man in general. We will miss you so much, Pastor Moss. I will miss you....

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Kelly Clarkson - Because of you - Live

This is ours... we danced, and he told me special things, and I feel... delirious!

Bernadette Peters sings

Dedicated to the gentlemen who is my unexpected song. Je l'aime!

Dans ma vie...

There comes a time in a girl's life when she simply does not know what to say anymore. A time when she feels somewhat lost, but at the same time, she is happier and more at home than she has ever been before. Ha. I'm there... and it's no fun.

I don't know why I feel this way, truly. I have a decent life right now. I'm crazy busy with play (we're performing Cheaper by the Dozen, in which I play Ernestine Gilbreth, the second oldest daughter and the antagonist of the play), ballet has entirely consumed my life, and school is as laborious as usual. It's not all that bad, though. I love French and Choir (of course), I'm the reporter-historian for French Club, and co-secretary for Drama Club. I actually understand Chemistry (I'm passing with an 87%), and Trigonometry is actually super, super easy. Go figure! The class I'm having the hardest time with, of all things, is *gasp* COMMUNICATIONS! What the heck? Communications has always been super simple for me, and now it's driving me nuts! It's still easy, but is soooo dull. I like what we're doing, but it's just skipping from one work to the next, no true flow or point (sorry, Ms. Faunce, but I have to be honest here). Perhaps I will like it better once we read The Scarlet Letter... I love that book!

So, seriously, I have no reason or room to complain about anything! Life is great, I'm auditioning for districts Friday, I'm going to a lecture with Mrs. Rapson on Sunday (HAL PRINCE!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!), I got to see Hamlet with my daddy last Friday (and it was absolutely incredible - I got to meet the actors!), and life should be great.

But something is strange. I cannot seem to put my finger on it, but it's as though I'm not really living my life. I feel like a ghost, just passing through an existence. It's such a strange feeling, but something is up... and I don't think it's just me and my head... there's something greater going on here, something that I don't know that I can easily control.

Perhaps it's just that I am so busy, I never have time to settle down and think for myself, or actually spend time with my family. I cannot name the last time I hung out with my extended family... I don't recall the last time I actually played with my dear cousins. I'm constantly going, going, going, and, oh, dear Lord, I have to go to college... really soon! I don't want to go to college... but I know if I don't, I will be disappointing so many, many people. I can't do that to them. But I've done a complete 180 from my position a year ago. A year ago, I couldn't wait to get out of here. Mifflinburg is so dull, there's nothing to do, it's awful, I can't wait to leave... Bla bla bla... I was so stupid! I am so stupid.

A year ago, on October 15th, I wrote this:

How many more hysterectomies do I have to deal with? I'm so afraid. Today was Aunt Caterina's hysterectomy, and I couldn't be with her, I had to be with her kids. I kept having flashbacks of the day I skipped school to stay with Megan at Hershey. I was so afraid, I felt so nervous. I didn't know if she would live or not; I had no clue how risky surgery would or wouldn't be. I didn't know if I'd ever see Megan again.

Now today, with Aunt Caterina, I knew that it wasn't going to be a huge deal. But I was still frightened and anxious... and, I'm ashamed to admit, as worried about my own future as I was her own experience. I'm afraid I'll never have children. Ever. Oh, and I also found out that my mother had a hysterectomy... and NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!

Lately, everything from the past several years has crashing back to me. I've heard that Aunt Glenda (dare I call her that?) has moved again and that she isn't with Justin anymore. This of course, was a rumor by way of Devante, but no one else has bothered to tell me anything. I haven't seen Uncle Wally - who's technically not my uncle - since he moved. I only talked to him once. And now Nicholynn and Megan are moving even farther away, and I thought I was mature enough to deal with it. I'm not as upset as I was the first time, but I feel like a piece of me is taking a world tour... while I stay here in Boredom-Heartache County. I miss my old life. A lot.

And I miss Zack. I know Jenn thinks he's pathetic and thinks this is just a passing crush, but I think I truly love him. Would I miss him this much if I didn't? I don't think this longing, this yearning to see him again, would be possible without love.

And I long for New York. I long for my precious Broadway, for my dear, dear city.

My heart is broken into a million pieces, each one being torn a different way. Figuratively speaking, I'm hanging from a sturdy tree with a frayed rope around my neck, the very life squeezed from within me. And I just want to curl up and cry. But I don't want to cry alone.... I want to tell someone, anyone, what's happening, why I'm afraid, why I wish to get away from it all. I want to be free from all of this. I want to fly, fly as far away as possible. And, when I get wherever I'm going, I want my sweet Zack to be waiting there for me. I want the past behind me, crushed into a thousand pieces, and only our future - his, mine, and ours together as one - laid before me, a pathway of diamonds glittering in the starlight of a perfect evening. Oh, if only I could soar to my dreams, leave all that binds me, and live.... truly live.....

Wow, was I ever naive. I still feel some of the same thoughts, but I've come to grips with many things. Aunt Caterina survived. I know that my "old life" is not coming back... ever. And I'm OK with that. I have better things to do than sit around and pine over the life and the people that I've lost. There's a bumper sticker on Facebook that sums this up perfectly - "Forget about the people from your past. There's a reason they didn't make it to your future." Now, mind you, I'm not saying that I don't still love all of you (Aunt Glenda, Uncle Wally, Nicholynn, Megan, Courtney), but I know that we all have to have our lives, and I may never see you again. As I type this, I can feel my heart race as it always does before I cry... but I refuse to cry this time.

I learned that Jenn was right about Zack. He's a stupid, pompous, GAY jerk. And he was a waste of my time. All boys are a waste of my time right now. I have more important things to think about. My life does not need to be consumed with longing for something that I will never have. Mind you, if there is some wonderful gentlemen who is absolutely head over heels for me, please say something, because I do desperately need a prom date... and a few other dates wouldn't be bad, either. If, however (as my dad has often said), "You don't have anything good to say, then don't say anything at all!" I know I'm short, I know I'm not Barbie-doll skinny, I know I'm loud and obnoxious, and I know full well that I will never have sex until I'm married. So if you want any of that, get away from me.

And I've learned that there is more to life than Broadway and NYC. Don't get me wrong, I love them sooo much, and want nothing more than to play on that glorious stage someday... but when the final curtain closes, I want my parents, my friends, my teachers, my mentors... I want them all to have backstage passes so they can share in my victory, the victory that I always said could be mine. I owe my life and myself to all of them, and I cannot imagine my life without them.

So, truly, what has this long, rambling post said? I don't know, really... hopefully it has helped me realize a little more who I am, and what I am doing here... but I doubt I will ever know until I have gotten a little rest (seeing as it is 11:19 PM). So, to bed I go. I pray God's will and blessings upon you.

For tonight, je t'aime.

<3

Full Vice Presidential Debate with Gov. Palin and Sen. Biden

Go Palin! Just so you know, Palin totally kicked butt here!